diss organised

A change is coming over me. A change is coming over the world. The world is always changing, in flux. I definitely am. I'm in the cross exchange-settlement phase of my apartment purchase, and look forward to moving in during the second week of June. It'll be coming into winter. The apartment, with its ground level position and floorboards, will be cold. I'll make sure to bring my slippers with me.

I've lost interest in going out and playing music. I'm not even that driven to write anymore. Jesus, a year ago I was seriously into the idea of writing a book. Now I feel there's nothing to prove, and with that, why bother? I'm sure this is merely a phase, as it were, and I look forward to carrying on with narrative, prose, creative non-fiction, music reviews, and the rest of it over time. For the moment however, my mojo is entirely fixated on settling into my illustrious 42 square metres of good ol' ozzie Eden, and with that, paying off the mortgage that looms over me like King Kong. I am aware that I'm not the only one with a bank debt that looms over its mortgagee like King Kong. Apparently, I'm "not borrowing much", according to the bank manager. And it's true, most borrowing amounts now amount to the 500K to 1000K figure. That's an astounding amount of money. I grew up with the attitude that what you've got in your pocket is pretty much what you've got full-stop. The whole system of finance and money and its corporate swirl of economic lingo and six (seven) figure sums that swarm around like mosquitos in a tropical storm just totally eludes me. And in a way, I'm thankful for that.

I'm becoming fuzzy-headed with my friends too. I've been tired during weekdays and formulating vague plans with friends in the process. So when the weekend comes and I find I'm suddenly double-booked. I feel detached, weary, alone, but definitely not lonely. But I realise the importance of realigning my friendships and re-establishing some old connections that have drifted off, almost imperceptibly, over these past few years.

But I have the feeling that, as I move into my cold little apartment, I'll be spending a lot of time alone over these few coming months.

...I kind of like it that way.

Comments

Nick said…
Good luck with the move... Make sure those guitars don't get bashed around by the removalists!!!
veleska1970 said…
good luck with your move. moving is never an easy thing to do, and you'll live out of boxes for a few weeks. :)

i think we're all going through the same phase right now. a phase of inertia. but like all things, it'll pass.

hope you're doing well. take care of yourself.
redgrevillea said…
Hi Veleska, thank you for your comment! I've been out of the loop recently but I do know you're expecting and I'm very happy for you and I send you and Ron very best wishes!! :)

Hope things are ok where you are - been very weird here, rain for 40 days and very little sun, driving people mad!

I'll be moving next week - you must visit sometime!!

Nick - Pete Scully is buying a guitar and I've sold 2 speakers, it'll be a soft move though which will be nice! There's only so much that can be fit in 42sq/m! ;)

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