Sunday, July 26, 2009

jagged journey

No one exactly has to shovel snow to leave their front doors where I am, yet summer it ain't. I'm crawling slowly and looking to get some spring back into my step. I'm booking myself to do various gigs and hopefully playing some bass and piano as well as guitar, and i look forward to re-embarking on my musical collaborations as well, immensely so.

If it wasn't for music I don't know where I'd be. Well...I'd likely act my age for starters. I'm an almost 40 year old who lives a please-themselves muso life of someone in that magic no-man's land of the twilight 20-30's zone. The urge to play, to perform, to express myself musically has not abated so what can I do? All I can do is keep picking up my weapons, donning my coat, and walk out that door and into that car and off to my next round of stage exhilaration, a fleeting 15-30 minutes of fame, a buzz to last me 24 to 48 hours perhaps.

I have a court case coming up soon. This is a royal pain in the ass. I shan't be attending, instead I'll plead guilty via the form I've been sent and get my boss to write me a reference pertaining to my "good character". All I did was place money into the parking meter and the thing didn't print me out a ticket, with me getting booked in the process. I can't just pay the fine off now. I need to make the point that I did pay the meter in full ($1.40) but there's not much I can do in the pitch dark if the ticket machine ain't working and I can't locate any phone numbers to call for faults. I need to write a cover letter addressed to 'your honour' or 'your majesty' or 'your lord' or whatever. I've no idea really. I've never been inside a court of law during session. These are the sorts of places I prefer to sidestep on my jagged journey through life. I'll just write and send them the letter and leave it at that but I am procrastinating. It shouldn't weigh on me but it is a little bit.

I never did write that book I had planned to write. Not only have I not written that book but my mind has become bereft of ideas for writing, other than music-related topics. This is not why I'd put up a 'pause' notice on my blog although I'm a bit dry, or tentative, to write about issues of my life or past that are a little sore. I could write a book about my father, dad-stuff in general, yes.

I'm reading Augusten Burroughs' 'Possible side effects' at the moment and I love how he takes ordinary every-day events, albeit quirky events, and creates enjoyable and engaging short memoir stories with them. Augusten is a great inspiration to me. I particularly loved 'Dry' (not to mention 'Running with Scissors'). I'm very drawn to stories about alcoholism. Perhaps that's because alcoholism runs very close to me in my family, and more to the point it has caused me long-standing, albeit apparently innocuous, hurt over my formative years. I'm fascinated by the stories that people tell, their descent into alcoholism. As I sip a glass of wine I can feel the well of it, the trap, the cognizance of this spirit in the form of a drink, the power and the glory of it all. I'm unlikely to become anything close to an alcoholic but that's not a given. I doubt I will be but I can sense that allure, the attraction, that same allure and attraction that has ensnared millions since civilisation began.

A light beer for me thanks, or a soda'n'lime, and I'll be on my way. See you in court, noonch!

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