Thursday, September 4, 2008

the attraction of anxious intent

These previous two weeks have followed a bizarre pattern of circumstances, those relating to myself, and those relating to personal friends, my mum, and even people I met on the blog who live the entire pacific ocean away. Somehow to me it all seems intertwined.

On Tuesday night my brother took my mum into hospital as she was coming down with a severe infection. We were concerned it was pneumonia. I went to the hospital straight after work and met her and my brother in casualty. My brother left and I decided to go home, put on a change of clothes and grab a bite, pick up my car and come back. My work, the hospital, and my current housemind place of abode all exist within a seemingly comfortable triangle of geography. The hospital at Randwick is a walk up the hill from Anzac Pde Kensington, and home is a 25 minute walk down to north Maroubra.

So with all the flurry of mum's illness I arrived home to discover that the street sign at the very corner - it is a corner house - had been uprooted and smashed through the picket fence at the very corner of the property. The fence was broken at that point and some of the pickets themselves around that area had fallen off. There was a note on the door, basically - sorry, i smashed your fence...name...phone number... . I called my friend whose parents' house I'm minding and forwarded the information. I found out from him later that the man's brakes had failed as he plunged into the street-sign pole that in turned smashed into the picket fence of my friend's parents' house. The man's insurance will cover it, no problem. And later back at the hospital mum was discharged, so all is good there.

I didn't clean up the debris & rocks on the path until Wednesday night. I got home to find a standard postal delivered letter lying beneath the post box rather than inside...I realised that was the postman's way of telling me to pick up the mess. Which I'd planned to do anyway that night, and I did, but I had that disconcerted sense that the postman almost had an accident on his scooter in manoeuvring around the rocks and debris, I noticed fresh skid marks in that area of the footpath after sweeping up. I felt a little paranoid and concerned that I'd be sued for millions, but I don't think that's about to happen.

Ok, here's the crunch. On the night before this accident, Monday night, I took out the garbage bins as is par for Monday night's course. As I was settling the bins on the footpath in front of the garage I felt an ever-so-slightly nervous compulsion to glance askew at the picket fence. I noticed something not 100% right, not %100 symmetrical. I walked closer to investigate to discover one of the pickets had come loose at the top attachment to the horizontal wood platform, the bottom attachment was fine. And so, I went into the garage, found some glue and string and set it up so that it would mend.

The thing is, from the moment I discovered the loose picket to the moment I went inside I was fettered with sparkly sensations of undue paranoia. I was worried that someone had come along and attempted to prise the picket...more to the point I felt that the house was being watched by someone, or some unknown force, that attention was being focused on the property and it wasn't me. It is a relatively safe neighbourhood. It's quiet though some of the younger adult boys like their fast cars and hooning etc. That's very noticeable on weekend nights. All I can say is that I felt this sensation with a certain, "full", static-electricity feeling, consuming, and sparkly.

Perhaps I'm also a little paranoid of which I can be from time-to-time, in very small doses. But when September 11 2001 happened I recall not sleeping well that night, and this was before I found out about it. The incident happened in NYC at around 8:30am which is around our bedtime, I recall that 'static electricity' sensation too, the feeling that around me and on the street(s) there was this silent screaming going on. Next morning, our Sep 12, I found out about what had happened in NYC, a bit later than most.

So I encountered those sensations again and simply put, what I discovered on Tuesday night as I scurried home from Prince of Wales hospital was the logical and natural circumstantial demonstration, occurring in the real world and in my awareness, of my fears and 'sensations' from the previous night, a psychically logical and forthcoming event that seemed so 'natural' following on from Monday night.

So the questions pose, was it because of me through my intent and energy that some elderly gentleman just happened to smash into the street-sign pole just outside my house?? That his brakes just happened to fail at this quiet suburban street? Would this event have happened anyway without my psychic connivance??...ie, were those 'energies' I spoke of there to begin with ?? Am I just picking up 'tunes' from the omniverse??

It's been a strange week gone by. It seems as though the people around me have been experiencing unusually eventful circumstances and goings-on - some life-changing - over these past couple of weeks.

All is well. But I'm going to keep a close eye on things. And stay calm. Divine some love. And wish everybody well.

Blessed be.

5 comments:

Polydora said...

The chicken or the egg or co-creation... always a difficult one to parse!

Maybe it was a convergence of energies you felt and not just the energy of anyone particular active agent?

Hope all is settled now and that your mum is doing well.

Polydora said...

separate "any" from "one" in the above comment. At least in your mind when you read it. :)

ross b said...

ha ha!! :) "anyone" and "any one..." are both seemingly applicable for this story!~

You're absolutely spot on Anne-Marie, thanks for that, I feel a lot clearer about it now, ie, convergence of energies.

Hope all is settling well at home, Ross

veleska1970 said...

i have weird "premonitions" all the time. i've always experienced it. i guess it's like some future energy or something just comes to me.

i've been having weird dreams about my life's current circumstances. my dreams are NOT pleasant, but i know that things will work out regardless. more energy perhaps?

The Knitting Songbird said...

I'll never forget your premonition about Bill. You have a great gift Ross, send as much positive energy out as possible. We all need it!

Take care,
TKS

Al-Anon

enjoying a bevvy Awakening to the ‘good’ in our lives and to the fulfilling sense of gratitude which follows often comes to us via ...